Knitter’s Tourette Syndrome (KTS) is defined as involuntary and socially questionable outbursts that occur during knitting. This condition seems to run rampant through knitting communities, but is most noticable during congregation. It is believed that these outbursts may also occur during isolation, but is thought to pass unmarked by the knitter. The nature of the outbursts are usually individual to the afflicted, but there appear to be several common manifestations. The most prevalent are described below:

“Four Letter” may be the least understood by non-knitters. Knitters with this variation of KTS may be ostracized beyond the knitting community without an effort on their part to either explain to non-knitters their affliction, or to refrain from knitting around them. This variation usually consists of a random expletive being said. The volume of the outbursts range from muttering, to wailing, to shouting. Sometimes the expletives can not be clearly identified, as it seems they get combined into unusual tranformations.

Self-Depreciatory results in comments such as “I’ll never get this” or “why is this so hard”. It is the most difficult of variations to listen to. It must be met with encouragement and understanding, lest the knitter afflicted give up and stop knitting. If you suffer from this variation of KTS, it may be best that you keep knitting in a group, as you will have the support you may not receive elsewhere.

Accusatory Tourette is on the other end of the spectrum of the last one described. Those afflicted with the accusatory varation usually remark on external inanimate objects. The very needles and yarn being currently manipulated are often at fault with these knitters, although sometimes they have been known to blame the light, space, and temperature of their current surroundings.

Violent. It is perhaps best that this variation is usually only displayed in a mild manner in public or in knitting congregations. The fullblown violent Tourette is usually reserved for solitary knitting, although if there is only one or two witnesses, it may still appear. The yarn and needles of this knitter usually finds itself in an unexpected trajectory toward the floor or a nearby fixture, such as a television or a trash can. Once the outburst has passed, however, the knitter predominately reacquires the material and continues to knit in a somewhat subdued state. Those who have witnessed this outburst in person are quick to learn to be wary of this knitter in the future, and do not sit in the usual paths of fire.

Of course, there are more variations than have just been listed, as well as unique blends. A good portion have strong traits of one or two with minor traits of another.

It is not known what causes KTS. It is generally accepted that there is some correlation between the very act of taking long, narrow lengths of wood in ones hands and the onset of KTS. Others, however, have refuted this belief, on the basis that knitting is not always achieved on wooden sticks, but sometimes metal or plastic, or not on sticks at all. They are more apt to blame the fibers that pass through the knitters’ hands, but it is equally arguable that those are too varied in nature as well. Still others insist that it is a form of short-circuiting in the brain, a failure to process a patterns instructions and to send the proper signals to the hands. It may be that the cause is as individual to the knitter as the variation of outbursts that take place.

There is no cure or recognized treatment of this condition. If you feel you may suffer from Knitter’s Tourette Syndrome, you must acknowledge it gracefully, but do not feel that you must apologize for it, unless there may be a hapless non-knitter in the vicinity. Most knitters, if they have been knitting for any duration, are likely to understand and accept you and your affliction, if indeed they are not afflicted themselves. You may need to ask your LYS if they have a KTS support group that meets within the facility. If not, it may be helpful to suggest the creation of one. You are not the only one!